Gary Neuman, a marriage counselor for over twenty years, has researched and written extensively on the subject of cheating husbands, what drives men to cheat on their wives and what women can do to prevent men from being tempted to be unfaithful.
As a woman, you’ll obviously be better off if you know what drives men to cheat; not only can it help you figure out if certain aspects of your behavior might “trigger” his infidelity but it can also help you decide whether or not the relationship is worth saving. Surveys show that over 50% of all men have cheated during a relationship and that 30% of women think they’ve been cheated on, but can’t be certain of the truth. Here are signs that are indicative your husband is most likely having an affair.
According to Gary Neuman, not only can you actually prevent your husband from cheating on you, but you can also figure out whether your husband is lying to you about his infidelity. Remember, different men have a tendency to cheat for different reasons.
Mr. Neuman argues that monogamy is not part of a man’s nature, and that men’s infidelity can sometimes be boiled down to simple biology. According to him, biology drives men to want to “spread their seed” as much as possible, which obviously makes them more likely to cheat, but he also points out that “power, opportunity and money” are all testosterone boosters for men, and that increased testosterone levels are more likely to make men want to cheat. Apparently, men’s genetic makeup is also a factor. Mr. Neuman points out that specific genes make men more likely to cheat, and even mentions a “cheating gene”, which can apparently be found in certain men.
Apparently, men who don’t feel appreciated at home are a lot more likely to give in to the temptation of cheating on you, especially if your relationship suffers from a lack of emotional connection (yes, it appears men have more emotional needs than they care to admit, including to themselves). It appears that men’s infidelity is often caused by emotional reasons. In fact, as much as 48% of men say they have a lack of emotional connection with their wives, and that it was one of the main driving factors for their infidelity.
Research shows that over 9 out of 10 men who cheat on their wives are actually sexually satisfied at home, and only 8% of men said they cheat because of a lack of sex with their wife.
Apparently, it’s not all about physical attraction either. 88% of men say their affairs are with women who aren’t more beautiful than their wives. So the women that men cheat with are not necessarily better looking, younger, or skinnier than their wives.
Friends who are bad influences:
As much as 77% of husbands who cheat have best friends who also cheat on their wives. This means that your husband’s friends can actually have a very real effect on your marriage. If your husband’s best friend is cheating, then the chances are higher that your husband may cheat on you.
- He’s not as interested in physical intimacy as he was before
- He avoids physical and emotional contact
- He criticizes you more often
- He picks fights or starts arguments with you
- He stays away from home
It’s also important to generally follow your instincts: “a woman’s intuition is the most important indicator that a man is cheating”, says Gary Neuman.